Advice to a younger you, from an older view
How I survived my early adolescence
by Olivia Pettinato
Ok, but real talk: why does being a teenager feel so weird? Besides the daily trials and tribulations of growing up peppered shitty societal standards—add in the physical (and often confusing) aspects of puberty into the mix, and you have the ingredients for a pretty good coming-of-age movie. But in all seriousness, my teen years are not that far off from where I am now.
There are nights that I still wake up, anxious and sweaty, wondering why I left the house the way I did or why I thought wearing my eyebrows that day was a good look for me. But never mind all that —going to high school in the age of social media, more specifically Snapchat, made it a lot harder. Instead of Becky and Ryan just passing around a note in class that called you a whore. They took to private social channels to target individuals (like me) using nudes or suggestive videos to harass and bully, or hell— even trade them like Pokémon cards (gotta catch 'em all). Not only was it humiliating, degrading, and so isolating.
However, as I transitioned from a teen to a twenty-something-year-old, I came to terms with a few things. I feel it is part of my due diligence to share these with you (although there is probably a good chance you've already left high school).
Olivia circa 2013
Second Puberty
Puberty can make or break your self-image. It seems cruel to be gifted with hormonal acne (spoiler alert: it doesn't go away), while others get a large bust or a speedy metabolism. And don’t even talk to me about social media! Social media is exceptionally curated, with individuals only showing you what they want you to see. There is a reason why celebrity photoshop fails are so notoriously sought after. People want to see the human in others to accept the human within themselves. Now, if only I had realized this sooner, I would have blocked Kendall Jenner. Now I know this may seem harsh, but you don’t NEED to have a personal connection with a celebrity. Especially if the sight of them is making you feel bad. Heck, it’s YOUR social space. So simply remove them from your feed, and carry on with your life. Because tbh, you deserve to feel good about yourself.
4Lifers
To bluntly rip off the Band-Aid, I am no longer friends with any of my old friends from school. Of course, this is not meant to invalidate some of the pretty great relationships you may develop throughout high school. What I am trying to say is that, these relationships won’t make or break you, or that you won’t find a friend that you do make a genuine human connection with. Just remember this: quality > quantity. I promise you that the Snapchat story of Grace from Bio getting absolutely sloshed at a party you weren't invited to does not make you obsolete. There are better things to do than sitting in a half-renovated basement drinking Sourpuss and only cracking a smile when you see a flash—trust me, it’s not worth it! A better way to spend your weekend? Ordering sushi with a friend and hate watching your favourite trilogy - may I suggest Twilight? Also a High Low Brow fave ;)
Keep Reinventing Yourself
Can I let you in on a little secret? At one point in my high school career, I shaved my head. Not entirely shaved, but a decent bit off the side. It was the day before the Vans Warped Tour, and I panicked! (not at the disco, 😂) and well, I just wanted to be taken seriously. So I did what any 15-year-old teenager would do — I shaved my head. It felt so liberating and free, but the only genuine regret I felt was when I caught a wind chill in my baby hairs growing out during the
wintertime. Otherwise, I was a total badass.
Experimentation is totally normal during your teens and getting things like that out of your system is the perfect way to discover who YOU are. Start with something small like a shirt you wouldn't typically wear, working your way up to hair dye, and maybe trying out some piercings. Wait to get that permanent ink or to go to a club, I promise you will thank me later for this. This is your journey to self-discovery and your way to figure out the hobbies, interests, or potential forms of self-expression you may be interested in.
I'm still vastly under-qualified in many aspects of my life, but there are my nuggets of wisdom that I curated over an embarrassingly long time. But, of course, no experience is exactly like the other. No one in life knows exactly what they’re doing. Faking it until you make it is a huge part of being young (and well - at any age, really). So, here is my very common-sense advice to you reader! Use it wisely.
